It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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