I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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