laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
