Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
