My liver just broke up with me...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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