ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
