u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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