We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize