YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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