also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
