bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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