My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
