I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
