he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
