I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
