she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize