she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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