Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize