There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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