Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
love makes seman taste better
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
