can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
