david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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