At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
