If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
