Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
