Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
