Actions speak louder than pants.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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