dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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