No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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