summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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