Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
