hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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