Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
