I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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