I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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