So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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