Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
