can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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