Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
