but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
