Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
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