my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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