so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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