"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
