well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize