One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize