bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
