I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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