Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
