I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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