Who wears a wallet chain?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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