please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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