You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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