I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
