At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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