a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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