So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
