so let's talk penis.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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