I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
