I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize