It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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