North Korea, Best Korea!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
