found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
