I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
