tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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