You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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